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We had a traditional
Bengali wedding. It was an elaborate affair featuring multiple
ceremonies over a number of days. Here are the highlights. |
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Some Wedding Facts: Number of
days: 5
Number of ceremonies: 18
Number of attendees: ~1800
Countries represented: 4 (India, USA, UK, Australia) |
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Pre-Wedding Rituals |
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Ay Buro Bhat
This is a feast for the Bride/Groom before the wedding. This meal
allows families and friends to wish the couple well and prepare them
for the wedding ceremonies ahead. |
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Nani Muk
The ceremony is about offering puja (prayers) to the ancestors of the
bride and the groom, performed a day before the marriage attended by
all the family members. Alpana/Rangoli is drawn and on it is placed a
ghot (earthen pot) with amra pallab (mango leaves). All the samagri
(items for the puja) are arranged in a baran dala (copper plate) with
a 'Sri' (star) symbol made on it. The purohit (priest) brings an idol
of Bhagwan Narayan (Vishnu) to the puja. The idol is worshipped by
lighting agarbattis (incense) and diyas (lamps). The vridhi (process)
is performed by the bride's father. Tradition demands that the
bride/groom be on a liquid diet. |
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Dodhi Mangal
Early morning on the day of the wedding from the house of the
bride/groom about ten married women accompany the bride/groom to a
nearby pond. They invite the Goddess Ganga to the wedding and
bring back a pitcher of water from the pond to individually bathe the
bride and the groom. Then they offer food to the bride/groom. The meal
consists of macher laija bhaja (fried fish) followed by jal
dhala bhaja (rice cooked in water). Curd and chiruya (rice)
complete the meal. |
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Wedding Piris
The piris are brought to the bride's house a day before the
wedding or on the wedding day which are used to seat the bride and the
groom during the wedding ceremony. A relative or friend paints and
decorates the piris, conch shells are blown and ululation taken
up. |
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Gae Halud Tattva
A relative of the groom arrives at the bride's house with Gae halud
tattva (gifts) for the bride. The gifts include at least six
sarees and cosmetics to go with them. Also among the gifts are fish,
assorted sweets, curd, paan, dhaan and durba.
Incense is lit to welcome them and conch shells are blown. The bearers
are given sweets and bakshish. |
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Adhibas Tattva
Adhibas Tattva are gifts coming from the bride's house. The
gifts come on a brass plate or kasar thala borne by servants
includes a saree for the groom's mother, and fish, sweets, curd,
paan, dhaan, and durba. They are welcomed as warmly as the
groom's gift bearers who visit the bride's house. |
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Kubi Patta
A ceremony to revere Saint Kuber takes place in the houses of
the bride and the groom. On the day of the marriage, family members
place three metal glasses filled to the brim with dhaan, khoi
(pulses), and crushed rice at the altar of the Saint. |
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Gae Halud
The Gae Halud Snan takes place in the late afternoon or
evening, the bride and groom must individually follow on the day of
the wedding. A few married women apply turmeric and oil on the hair
and body of the bride/groom. After bathing, the bride and groom must
wear the new set of clothes that have been presented to them by their
in-laws. The worn clothes are later given away to a napti
(barber). |
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Sankha Porana
The bride in her maternal home follows the tradition of wearing
sankha porana or conch shell bangles that have been dipped in
turmeric water. After her bath she wears a new sari and wears the
sankha poranas. |
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Dressing Up The Bride
The bride adorns herself in all her bridal finery. Her hair is tied
into a bun and covered with a veil. The mukut is placed on her
head and secured in place by pinning it to the veil. After her bridal
makeover, a design of the mukut is traced on her face using the
chandan paste. The bride must sit with the gaach kouto
and kaajal laata for the ceremonies that follow. |
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Mandap
The mandap is the place where the wedding ceremony is
conducted, two banana trees are planted at the mandap and a
large alpana is made with rice paste. The mandap is
decorated for the event with flowers and lights. |
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Wedding
Rituals |
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Agamon (Welcoming The Groom)
The groom and his relatives arrive at the bride's house to the ringing
of bells, blowing of conch shells and ululation. The baran dala
is held by an elder female relative of the bride's and the plate is
first touched to the groom's forehead, then to ground, and back again
to his forehead in a gesture of part blessing, part-reverence. The
groom is offered sweets and sherbet. Water is sprinkled on the
doorstep as the groom steps into the house to mark the auspicious
moment. |
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Ashirvad (Wedding Blessings)
The bride and groom are separately blessed by their in-law family
members. Gifts are exchanged. |
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Bara Baran
The groom is placed in an enclosure of banana leaves on the alpana. He
is blessed by his in-laws. |
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Subhadristi (First Glance)
The bride's brothers carry her on a pier into the wedding hall. She
keeps her face covered with a betel leaf. The brothers carry the bride
around the groom seven times. Finally, the two come face-to-face. The
bride removes the betel leaf and the couple make eye contact. |
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Sampradhan (The Wedding Ceremony)
The purohit (priest) conducts the wedding ceremony, or
Sampradhan. Her father gives the bride away. The bride and groom
exchange garlands while the purohit chants mantras. Their hands
are joined with a sacred thread and the couple is blessed. They
are ritually seated in front of the Agni (sacred fire). As the
ceremony continues the couple stand and walk seven times around the
fire, known as the Saat Pheras, which symbolizes the sanctity of
marriage. An Anjali (offering) is then made to the fire. The groom
applies the symbol of marriage to his bride's hair parting: a red
marking (sindoor). |
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Post-Wedding Rituals |
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Basar Ghar
The bride and groom are welcomed inside the bride's home. There is
merry-making and the couple is served dinner. Jokes and poetry
recitals by friends and relatives keep the couple awake all through
the night. |
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Bidaai
This ceremony marks the departure of the bride and groom. From here
they set off for the groom's home. The newly weds are blessed by the
elders. |
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Bou Baran
This ritual is performed to welcome the bride and groom to the
latter's home. The women of the house pour water on the ground beneath
their vehicle when they alight. The bride imprints the soles of her
feet on a plate containing lac dye and milk, and is led into the
house. The elders of the house bless the newly weds. |
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Bou Bhat
It is during this ceremony that the bride serves and is served her
first meal in the home of her in-laws. This ceremony is followed by a
caravan of gifts (Tattva)
arriving from the Bride's home. The
Wedding Reception is held in
the evening, hosted by the groom's father. |
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Phool Sajja
The last of the wedding ceremonies, this occasion sees the bride in a
new sari and the groom in a new dhoti and kurta. Their
nuptial bedroom is beautifully decorated with flowers, which is why
the term, phool sajja (bed of flowers). The flowers, clothes
and sweets for the occasion usually arrive as gifts from the bride's
house. |
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Dira Gaman
A ceremony that is conducted when the newly-weds visit the bride's
house for the first time after the wedding. The thread that was tied
by the purohit on the bride's wrist during the wedding rituals
is cut during this ritual. Conch shells are blown to the accompaniment
of ululation to mark the auspicious moment. |
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